I'll Follow You Into The Dark
by seeleyboothfan
Summary: Kurt and Blaine weren't ready to be together again no matter how much they denied their continued love for each other. What happens when tragedy befalls Blaine? Can Kurt help pick up the pieces? Can Blaine ever truly recover? What kind of future could they have together when Blaine's life has crashed all around him? *TEMPORARILY ABANDONED*
1. Chapter 1

_And now that I'm stronger_

_I've figured out_

_How this world turns cold_

_And breaks through my soul_

* * *

Kissing Adam was nice. It wasn't too wet and he never pushed for anything more than Kurt was ready for. Over the last few weeks they'd progressed from quick pecks on the cheek to actually kissing to the open mouth kissing they were currently doing just inside the door to Kurt, Rachel, and Santana's apartment.

Kissing Adam was nothing like kissing Blaine. While Adam's kisses were pleasant, Blaine's had been _steal your breath _and _stomach swooping_ and _heat_ right from the beginning. Kissing Adam was comforting while kissing Blaine was _I don't ever want this to stop_, unable to keep your hands off their face or shoulder or waist or arm or any stretch of delicious skin you had access to.

Adam's kisses were warm. Blaine's kisses were like home.

Kurt mentally shook his head, forcing himself to think less about his ex and more about the boy whose tongue was currently stroking along his own. This was the fifth time this week that he'd been thinking about Blaine while he was with Adam, his... Were they even boyfriends now? Or were they still the "dating but not exclusive" friends that Kurt had categorized them as at Mr. Schuester's wedding?... He still wasn't sure.

When Adam pulled away, Kurt felt a content smile rise to his face. Adam really was great. He was the first person not from Lima that he enjoyed spending time with and they had a lot in common. He always made Kurt feel special and it was refreshing to have a guy attracted to him and who complimented him left and right, not allowing Kurt to reject the compliment.

He'd been nothing but patient when Kurt explained that he wasn't over Blaine and that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship right now. He'd smiled and said that Kurt was worth the wait, the hurt barely disguised in his expression.

After their botched attempt to find a sappy romance movie to call their own, they'd realized that they still weren't quite ready to classify their relationship as serious. Kurt did feel bad that he wasn't trying very hard to learn to care more for Adam than he currently did. It wasn't Adam's fault that he didn't inspire the same feelings in Kurt that Blaine had.

"I was thinking maybe we could extend our date a bit longer. I'm not quite ready to say goodnight to you yet," Adam said, stroking a hand down Kurt's cheek.

Kurt frowned. Adam never outright pushed Kurt for more, but he liked to test the boundaries every so often. "Adam, you know I'm not ready for that yet. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop asking."

Adam's expression fell. "I'm sorry Kurt. I know you want to go slow. It's just, lately, you've seemed open to more. I guess it was just mixed signals. We'll go at your pace."

Kurt smiled slightly. "Thank you for understanding. I have an early class tomorrow, so I think it would be best if we called it a night."

Adam didn't look pleased with that news, but he nodded. "Of course. Goodnight, Kurt." He kissed him lightly and then turned to leave.

Kurt sighed after he closed the door behind Adam. He didn't know how much longer Adam would wait for him. He knew he was stringing him along. If Kurt was completely honest, he'd admit that he didn't think he'd ever be over Blaine. What they'd had was once in a lifetime and Kurt doubted he'd find anything that special ever again. As much as Blaine had hurt him. Kurt was still desperately in love with him. If Kurt could find a way to trust him once more, maybe they could try again.

Kurt grabbed his bag from where he'd set it near the door. He'd planned on saving his cheesecake for the weekend, but he was mopey enough right now that he didn't think he could wait to indulge. He plopped down heavily on the couch and removed his dessert from the bag. He took a large bite, groaning as his taste buds exploded with flavor. He picked up the remote and flicked the TV on. Rachel must have been watching the news this morning because Fox News was on when the TV powered up. Kurt was about to flip over to the Fashion Network when the news anchor's voice caught his attention.

"_If you're just tuning in, we'll update you on the situation. At 3:15 this afternoon, a lone gunman entered Worldwide Accounts Management and opened fire. At this time, there are fifteen confirmed casualties, five confirmed dead including CEO William Anderson and his wife-"_

Kurt didn't hear the rest of the broadcast. His plate hit the floor, a buzzing sound filling his ears. Blaine never talked much about his parents when they were dating. He knew they were higher ups at an international accounting firm – they'd used their frequent business trips to utilize the empty house to spend the night together – but he'd never really know much about them.

Kurt fumbled quickly for his phone, pressing speed dial 2. After five rings, Kurt thought the voicemail might pick up, but suddenly the call connected and Blaine answered the phone.

"Kurt?" Blaine sounded equal parts devastated and disbelieving.

"Blaine, I just heard."

Blaine broke down, sobs sounding loud over the line.

"Honey, I'm so sorry. I'm going to fly out as soon as I can."

Blaine kept trying to speak, but he couldn't stop crying. The sound of rustling came over the line and then another person spoke. "Kurt?"

"Dad?"

"I guess you heard. I was just about to call you myself. As soon as I got the call about the attack from my work I drove over and picked him up. Carole and I have been with him ever since. He wasn't alone when he found out they'd-" Burt broke off, unable to say the words.

"Thank you for being there, Dad," Kurt said, sniffing. "I told Blaine I'm going to get the first flight out. Could you- could you tell him I'll be there soon and that... that I love him?"

"Of course. I love you, Kurt."

"I love you too, Dad. So much."

"Stay safe."

"I will."

Kurt hung up the call, dropping his hands into his lap. All it took was a few bullets and Blaine was an orphan. You never thought something like that would happen to someone you knew. You deluded yourself into thinking you were safe. Nobody was safe. Nobody ever would be safe. You can't protect yourself from people or nature or whatever else could snatch it away in only a few seconds. It was important to live your life to the fullest each and every day and make sure you never left anything unsaid.

* * *

**Firstly, the title of this story comes from the song of the same title by Death Cab for Cutie because I've always liked the title. I almost didn't use it because the song itself isn't at all what this story is... The song that actually fits is Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, so that's the lyrics I'll use in the chapters (as I did above).**

**I've decided to write the story that's been haunting me for the last few months. I've always wanted to write Kurt and Blaine's story of redemption in a world of tragedy. I didn't want to use the story from Shooting Star because it's overdone at this point in the world. Besides, the story I've been tossing around for a long while now was always Blaine's parents dying. **

**I hope you'll stick with me through this. It won't be a fluff or mostly comedy story like some of my others. This will be full of angst and pain, but in the end I hope there will be light. **


	2. Chapter 2

_Seasons are changing_

_And waves are crashing_

_And stars are falling all for us_

* * *

~Five Days Prior~

* * *

"Did you tell him about what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

He heard Blaine huff. "Did you tell Adam that we slept together this weekend?"

"What business is it of yours what I tell anyone?"

"Since you had me underneath you for the better part of an hour. Since you said that you loved me while you were fucking me. Since you-"

"All right, enough," Kurt bit out. "No, I didn't tell him. I really don't see any reason why he needs to know."

"It doesn't matter if you're exclusive or boyfriends or whatever other label you want to use. You've been seeing him and he should know that it happened. I always thought you valued honesty."

"And I thought you valued fidelity. I guess we were both wrong." Kurt shot back.

He heard Blaine sigh, clearly frustrated. He could just see him, hunched over on his bed, hands running through his hair, gripping tightly and pulling as he struggled not to shout. "You know how sorry I am about that."

"Yeah, well, nothing will change the fact that it happened. What happens between Adam and me is really none of your business and if I don't think he needs to know about what happened at the wedding, then I'll make that decision on my own."

"Would you rather I not have told you I cheated on you?" Blaine asked, voice quiet.

Kurt paused. He didn't have an answer to that question. On the one hand, if he hadn't known, they would still be together, Kurt unaware of the betrayal. On the other hand, Kurt wouldn't have wanted a relationship with lies interwoven into it.

"If you figure out the answer to that, put yourself in Adam's shoes. How do you think you'd feel in that situation?"

"Don't you dare compare this to that. What you did was horrible and-"

"You left me alone, Kurt! I followed you so that you could have a magical senior year. I lost all my friends and I was alone. You never asked how I was doing. It was all me me me and I wasn't good enough."

"You never said you felt that way."

"You never let me!" Blaine yelled back.

"Regardless, you didn't have to fall into bed with the first guy who looked at you, like some slut-"

The dial tone in Kurt's ear was jarring. Kurt felt tears pool in his eyes as he realized the horrible and disgusting name he'd used. He didn't think Blaine was that type of person. He didn't mean it. It came out in the heat of the argument. He quickly pressed redial, frowning when it went immediately to voice mail. He typed out a quick text _"I didn't mean that. I'm sorry. Please call me."_

When he got no response, he tried again. _"Blaine. Please. I'm sorry."_

He waited another few minutes, sending one more apology text before giving up. Throwing himself back on the bed he let himself feel all the pain he'd pushed down inside of him. He knew what he did with Blaine was wrong. He shouldn't have let himself fall back into it at the wedding. He shouldn't have opened his heart up again. He was supposed to be getting over him. He was supposed to be moving on.

* * *

Present Time

* * *

Kurt was halfway through his packing when Santana came home. It was probably a sight to behold: Kurt's hair was stuck up in tufts from where he'd run his fingers through it, his entire wardrobe was strewn across the room, he was still crying, so his eyes were still red and puffy, and he was pretty sure a hunk of cheesecake was still stuck to his shirt from where it had fallen earlier.

"Holy crap! What the hell happened here?" Santana exclaimed, standing just inside the partition, wide eyed.

"They're dead and he's all alone and _why the hell_ don't I have any normal clothes?" Kurt shouted, dropping the garments in his hands. Before Santana could respond, Kurt continued speaking, a hysterical tone to his voice. "I can't go to a funeral looking like this. I'll come off as the jerk who doesn't care about anything more than his appearance. I can't do that to Blaine."

"Slow down a minute, Kurt," Santana said, stepping into the room. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Who died?" She put her hands on Kurt's shoulders, trying to center him.

Kurt took a deep breath before shakily saying, "Blaine's parents were killed today."

"Oh my god."

Kurt nodded. "I saw it on the news. There was a shooter at their work. I need to be there with him, Santana. I can't let him go through this alone. I've got tickets to Lima at 9 tonight."

Santana nodded. "I'll help you pack. How long do you think you'll be staying?"

"I don't know."Kurt bit his lip. "He didn't- Blaine's parents- they weren't that close, but Santana, you should have heard him. He sounded like his world had ended." Kurt's breathing started to pick up, his heart racing as the nerves started coming back. "I want to help, but I don't know if me being there will make things better or worse. The last time we talked, we didn't part on the best of terms. We had this fight about Adam and us and... Ohmy god Santana I can't do this." Kurt felt his brain start to hurt, all these fears and emotions swirling. "I can't go there and see him. I abandoned him and I've been stringing him along and now he's all alone and if I go back I'll leave again and I love him and I want him back, but I can't because it's all wrong and he hurt me and I'll just hurt him and, oh my god, Santana, help me."

"Breathe, Kurt." Santana pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly to her chest. "You need to calm down before you pass out." She stroked her hand over the back of his head, humming softly under her breath. "You'll be no help if you keep acting like a chicken with its head cut off." She rocked him back and forth for a few minutes before she started to speak again. "Let's deal with everything one at a time. Clothes – if you don't have anything appropriate for a funeral, I'm sure Brody does. You're roughly the same size, so he could probably lend you a suit. For your second issue – Blaine. He loves you, Kurt. No matter what arguments you had or whatever words you exchanged, he loves you and having you there will be nothing but a help."

"Are you sure? I said something horrible and he was so mad-"

"Kurt, I'm sure. Anyone with eyes could see it. Moving on to your last issue – how long you'll stay. It depends on what you're willing to give up. According to Rachel's blabbering, apparently you're not allowed to miss more than three classes without an automatic failure. If you leave today and the funeral's not until Friday, you'll be failed before the week is over. Have you ever talked to Isabelle about your internship? Would she allow you time off as well?"

"Wouldn't they give me an allowance since it's a death?"

"It's not family, Kurt. I know you think of Blaine as family, even if you won't admit it out loud, but he's nothing more than a friend to you in their eyes."

Kurt sighed, resting his head back on her shoulder. "What do you think I should do?"

"I can't decide that for you, Kurt. It all depends on what you feel is most important in your life. Blaine or your dream job? Blaine or your dream school? Blaine or New York?" When Kurt was silent, Santana continued, "You know, you don't have to decide this second. You can always fly out right now and see him, see how he's dealing and decide then. You'll regret it if you don't go for at least a day, just to see him again."

"Everyone's wrong, you know... about you," Kurt said contemplatively. "You actually have a heart under all that tough exterior. Thank you, Santana."

"As long as you don't go blabbing about it, we'll be good. And you're very welcome, Kurt. You give that boy a big hug for me, okay?"

When Kurt stepped away from her, she slapped him on the butt, smiling when he yelped. "I can't help it. You have a perky little butt that is just asking for it." She gave him a real smile, something Kurt didn't think he'd ever seen on Santana's face. "Take care of yourself, Kurt."

"You too."

* * *

**It must be quite a sight. I act out my scenes, including actions and volume of speech and if the characters are crying, I'm usually crying too. This story so far has been a doozie on me. I broke down twice while writing this. **

**Please review and let me know your thoughts. This story makes me really anxious and I want to do this right.**


	3. Chapter 3

_Use me as you will_

_Pull my strings just for a thrill_

_And I know, I'll be okay_

_Though my skies are turning gray_

* * *

~One Day Prior~

"He called me a slut and maybe I am. I could have said no." Blaine hung his head, hands clasped tightly behind his head.

"You're not a slut, Blaine," Sam said, placing a hand gently on his back.

"I don't even know his last name. He found me on Facebook through some mutual friends. We had been talking for three days before he invited me to his house and I _knew _what he wanted and I went anyway. I gave myself to someone I didn't even know because I thought maybe for the first time in months I could feel something other than this horrible loneliness. Sex was more important to me than my commitment to Kurt. I really am a slut."

"You're not, Blaine. You made a bad decision, you know that, but that doesn't make you a slut. Kurt knows that, too. I'm sure he didn't mean it. Have you talked to him since?"

Blaine shook his head, wiping his eyes. "He texted me a couple times saying he was sorry but... I just couldn't talk to him. I knew I couldn't defend myself against those accusations because he was right. I threw myself at the first person who wanted me. I don't deserve his forgiveness."

Sam sighed and sat down next to him. "You keep saying things like that and you're wrong. You're a good person and everyone can see that, Kurt included. You made a mistake and you deserve to be forgiven because you know what you did wrong and you regret it. You're not heartless and you're not cruel. You were lonely and you messed up. You should talk to him, _really _talk to him."

"I will. Thanks for listening, Sam."

"What are best friends for?"

They hugged tightly and then stood up, smiling at each other before walking towards the choir room. They paused when they heard running behind them. They turned and spotted Mr. Schuester, a concerned look on his face. "Mr. Schue?"

"Blaine, you need to come with me, immediately."

"What-"

"Sam, why don't you head to the choir room and start everybody warming up for me? Blaine, please follow me."

Blaine hesitated. "What's going on?"

"It's really best if you come with me to Miss Pillsbury's office before we talk."

Blaine shook his head. "Please just tell me what happened." _Please don't let it be Kurt. Please let Kurt be okay._

Mr. Schuester's face fell, looking up and down the hallway. "Blaine, please-"

"Tell me."

He sighed, reaching out and putting his hands on Blaine's shoulders. "There was an attack at your parent's work. I'm so sorry, Blaine."

Blaine flashed back to the last conversation he'd had with his Dad.

"_I just don't get why you can't also send in these applications, too."_

"_Because I don't want to go there, Dad. Why would I waste time and energy on something that I don't want?"_

"_Blaine, you need to keep your options open. What if all the New York schools turn you down? Where will you be then?"_

_Blaine sighed, running and hand over his gelled curls. "Even if I get accepted to Harvard or Yale or wherever else you think I need to apply to, I won't go. Even if it's my last option, I won't go there."_

"_Why must you be so stubborn? I won't have you throwing your life away again. I just want what's best for you, Blaine. I made allowances in the past-"_

"_What allowances?"_

"_I allowed you to join that boy at the public school even though Dalton was the better school for your applications."_

"_Odd, I thought that transferring had been my decision. I didn't know it was something you'd allowed me to do."_

"_Don't take that tone with me," Mr. Anderson said, frowning._

"_I can't take whatever tone I want. I'm 18, an adult."_

"_I don't care if you're forty-two. When you're under my roof, you'll abide by my rules."_

"_Then maybe I don't want to be under your roof anymore. God, I hate you so much!"_

There was a shrill ringing in Blaine's ears, his vision blurring. "Wha-" He felt his body fall backwards into the bank of lockers behind him. "Wh-what-" He was surprised to feel his eyes fill with tears, still unable to process Mr. Schuester's words. "Are they-"

Mr. Schuester frowned. "I don't know. There hasn't been much news, yet. You can stay with Miss Pillsbury while we await more news."

Blaine wasn't really listening to him anymore. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and accepted the incoming phone call, not really processing what he was doing.

"Blaine?" a concerned voice came from the other side of the phone line.

"Mr. Hummel?" Blaine asked, brow furrowing.

"I'm at the school; where are you?"

Blaine sniffed, struggling to focus on the conversation. "I don't..." Blaine bit his lip, feeling the tears pour down his face. It took only a minute or so for Burt to locate them. Blaine launched himself into Burt's arms as soon as he was near, burying his face into Burt's shoulder. "What happened?" Blaine gasped out, struggling to pull a full breath into his body.

Burt's arms were tight around Blaine's body. "There was a shooter. I haven't heard anything about your parents, yet. My advisor said he'd call me as soon as he heard anything."

"They're going to be okay, right? Please tell me they'll be okay."

When Burt didn't respond, Blaine felt his heart shatter. He bit back a whimper when Burt pulled away. "Would you like to come home with me?"

Blaine nodded, biting his lip.

* * *

**This is shorter and of less quality than I wanted for this, but I just can't seem to get the creative/emotional juices flowing to do this chapter justice, but I'm done waiting for it to get better.**

**I hope I can get back into the mindspace enough to get this back to where it needs to be. In the meantime, I'll just keep being horrible to Blaine**


	4. Chapter 4

**For those who are enjoying the story, the muse for this has left me, so for the time being this story is being moved to the "Temporarily Abandoned" ection of my stories. I hope to have that writer' bug bite me about this because I had been so excited to get this story out. **

**While I'm slugging through block with this, why don't you check out "The Tragedy of You and Me" that I'm writing or one of my other completed fics?**


End file.
